What time it is?

Oh dear God and/or Goddess.

I have volunteered to start a Brownie troop. Which everyone thinks is a great idea and wants their daughters to join and Oh-Gee-It's-Great-Someone-Wants-To-Start-A-Troop! Except no one really wants to LEAD a troop. And S- reeeeeaaaaallllllyyyyyy wants to be a Brownie. Cause, you know-Uniforms! Brownie Badges! A cool Brownie skort! So, here I am, about to be a Brownie leader, cause I have all the time in the world.

Actually, Pastor Patty told me last week that I was the busiest woman she knows and I was like, "Huh?" I'm not busy, I just work full time, take 2 college classes, homeschool S-, try to sing in the choir once in a while, maybe participate in a play (that was before college, though, to be fair) and walk the dog and put drops in the cat's ears....and maybe clean my house. Once in a while. Like when company is coming-and when do I ever have company? Next week, that's when-when I have a parent meeting for BROWNIES! Oh, God. Now I've got to bake and cook.

Thank Gods, Goddesses, Buddha and all the Bodhisattvas that I have Mr. H who does all the cooking, helps tremendously with cleaning and basically runs the homeschool AND generally makes sure the bills are paid and the house doesn't explode.

One consequence of all this is am now officially a Pintster. How very Pinteresting, how Pinsterific. I tried explaining to Mr. what Pinterest is. "It's like social media for girls. And a few gay guys." Those who like to share twee things, like wedding dresses and cutesy crafts while keeping away from WTF/NSFL gifs and evil, evil internet Trolls. I really, really, really was not Pinterested in joining. But my google search to find amazing and interesting things to do with a gaggle of Brownies led me directly there and....I did find some great Girl Scout things to do. Apparently, that is where all the GS leaders hang out: on Pinterest. I'm not even sure how to tell you to find me there. I thinks it's this: 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have homework to do.

I seriously need some elves...

Christmas 2012 has come and gone. We lived through the Mayan apocalypse AND dinner at my sister's. Just when I thought my extended family couldn't be any more boring, a co-worker mentions that at HER Christmas eve festivities, everyone got drunk and sang The Twelve Days of Christmas, including appropriate acting out of the song. Video was prohibited, of course. Nothing done at my holiday celebrations ever require anyone to sign a waiver, unfortunately.

As you can see from the above picture, Santa did not so much visit our house as ransack it. Oh, wait, that was done by children, mostly one small-ish, still-very-excited-by-it-all child. Which is really fun to watch, but not so much to clean up after. I now know why Jewish people go out for Chinese food and a movie.

Which is why I spent the day not cleaning. S-, who is normally home everyday except for 1 or 2 hour outside activities or occasional forays to friends' houses, is at karate camp. All day. A lesser woman would say that is a great time to tidy up, but not me! I spent the 5 hours having uninterrupted time speaking to my husband (actual whole sentences!) and surfing the web. Also, I learned how to use Evernote on my iphone and computer, so not a total loss. I am nothing if not fascinated by how to be organized. Actual organization is another thing. Besides, I think that organization-type people are part of a pyramid scheme. Just like you can make a million by writing a book How to Be a Millionaire and convincing a million people to buy it, so I think those Efficiency types try and convince you that being organized is oh-so-wonderful and then convince you to buy their twee organizing bins and color-coded folders. Their own houses probably look like who did it and ran. Anyhoo.

She is trying to look fierce

So, I offer you Susan's Guide to Cleaning Your Abode. First, pick the least dirty/cluttered room. Start small, I say. Find the spot that will be easiest to clean, however you define that. I generally pick the bathroom-it's small in size and usually doesn't have a tremendous amount of clutter in it, unless we had an extended bathtime the night before. Clean that mother! It won't be hard, because you started small. This success will give you fresh impetus to clean more. Move onto another room. Do NOT start with the kitchen. If it's like mine, it's too much at this point to even think about. Pick one spot in the room to clean off. Not a desk, that's too complicated. Say a bed or a couch. Clean off the surface and make the bed, if that's where you're at. Now go around with a big bag and pick up all the garbage. There, doesn't it look cleaner already? And you now you have one clean surface to focus on and you won't be overwhelmed by the rest of the clutter. If you like, use that surface to organize; dirty clothes, clean clothes (why would both be on the floor? If you know the answer to that, you don't need this article), papers, books, dirty dishes (but not clean dishes, there are never any clean dishes, sheesh). These things must be put away before you move onto the next room.

The kitchen. I try not to be in my kitchen unless I'm cooking something, so I'll clean it while I cook. Counter-intuitive, I know, but it works for me so don't judge. I fill the dishwasher while I'm waiting for water to boil or whatev. I have to wipe down a counter already to get cooking, so why not just keep going? With the dirty dishes away in the dishwasher and the counters cleaned off, I can pretend that the floor's not too bad and save that for another day. As one of my nursing instructors said, I throw a handful of dirt in the corner and when it sprouts, I know it's time to clean. Words to live by and you won't find that in any how-to-be-organized book I'll warrant.

New Year's is a few days away, a propitious time to clean the house. If that's not enough of an incentive,
invite some people over, then you'll have to clean. A Filipino nurse at work told me that a few minutes before midnight on New Year's, they open all the doors and windows of their home to let the evil spirits out and make way for good things to come in. Hey, ya never now. Happy 2013, y'all.

Holiday Happenings in Hub City

So we missed New Brunswick's tree lighting this year as I was working. But then I found out (still not sure how), that Highland Park was having a Christmas tree/Menorah lighting Saturday. After Shabbos, of course.

(Our town has a large, Jewish population-mostly Modern Orthodox, some Hasidim, conservative. A reformed minyan meets at my church. Israeli's, who can fall into any camp, I guess. Oh, and we have a town eruv. Google it).

So S and I and hubby and the dog walked uptown for dinner and general lighting of things. Several shops were giving out warm cider and cookies and S's old daycare was having pictures with Santa. S told Santa she wants a baby brother or sister for Christmas. Umm. Anyhoo, We stayed too long at the shawarma restaurant, missed the lighting of the Christmas tree and so stayed for the menorah lighting. How's that for a multicultural sentence? While they were preparing the menorah, a big PVC affair, the high school a cappella group sang, and then a blue grass group played Christmas music. It was quite a sight, all of us huddled on the sidewalk, listening to Christmas tunes and watching the menorah preparations. S found some friends. Together, they posed for pictures for a Jewish paper. "Say Happy Chanukah!" said the photographer and the 3 girls did, with candy canes in their mouths. I love my town. They were also selling menorahs (dreidle included) for $1. Of course we bought one, I have no shame. And it's a dollah.

I think the town kinda threw this thing together last minute, because the place they chose to do this was right on the main drag, on the sidewalk with cones extended into the street which is busy with NJ, holiday traffic. At night. I spent the time poised to spring into action should someone be jostled into the path of an oncoming SUV. Anyhoo, the rabbi(?) came forward, talked about the meaning and miracle of Chanukah and then proceeded to light up a flare. I had been wondering, because their were no light bulbs on this thing and there was no way a candle was going to last in the weather. No, flares it is! The assembled group sang the blessing over the lighting of the candles and with his one flare he lit the center and then the first night candle. Flares smoking, sparks falling to the ground, mothers pulling their children back so they didn't catch on fire. And all the while the real risk of an errant driver veering 1 foot to the right and cutting us all down. Good times.

We went home and played dreidle with pennies. It's easy and because we haven't had cheap dreidles pushed on us since childhood, fun (some Jewish friends I know are less than enthusiastic about the dreidling, but it was exciting and exotic for us. And you get to sing that song). It literally took S 10 seconds to memorize the symbols. Not the names, we're still working on that, but right away she knew that nun=no pennies, hey=half the pennies, shin=put a penny in the pot and gimmel (which looks like a "high heel" per my child)=Yippee! Gimmel me ALL the pennies!

Today we went to the Crossroads Theater's Holiday Jubilee. Eldest daughter got paid, yes I said paid, to be a costume consultant for the Motown inspired holiday show. Kids are free with a paid adult ticket and they sat on the stage. It was great-the music was fun, we were dancing in the seats and S had a great time, even though she didn't get picked to go up and dance with the cast, but she wore her disappointment well and I was so proud of her good behavior I bought her a disgusting candy thing at 7-11 afterward. They even put in  Chanukah, Kwanzaa and Muslim songs. And not in a "hey we have to be politically correct and throw in a
Chanukah song" but very nicely done. Because, seriously, sharing between different groups of people doesn't dilute anything, it only makes what we have and believe in stronger. It was groovy. AND the costumes were right on. I came home, ate 3 slices of pizza and passed out. Word.

Hunting Fossils and Little Orphan Annie

We had a rather exciting Saturday. First off, we went to Big Brook Preserve in Monmouth County. We spent the morning wading through the muddy brook, sifting for fossils. We did manage to find a bout a zillion belemnite fossils AKA ancient squids. These came to be called "squid bits," as in, "Hey! I found some more squid bits!" G did manage to find the prize winning Goblin Shark tooth-the curator of the geology museum said it's the best example she's ever seen:

We then went to G's Alma Mater, Monmouth U. The college is situated on the former site of the Shadow Lawn Mansion, now known as Wilson Hall (Woodrow once had the "Summer White House"close by). It is also where "Annie" was filmed. We, erm, managed to get in and have a look 'round. 

The entire ceiling over the main hall is beautiful stained glass

The sitting room to the lady of the house's private Loo

Mirror and marble over M'lady's bath

Let's go check out the basement, Daddy!

Public ladies room near the basement theatre (Seriously, I don't have a bathroom fetish. They just had some of the most beautiful tile work)

Bathroom stall door. Seriously. 

They still use the bedrooms as classrooms, complete with chandeliers and huge fireplaces. It was amazing to walk through. G had taken me here when we were dating....at that time, we had gone on one of the original elevators, but seeing as we were in the house by ourselves, and the elevators are ancient, we thought it prudent to stay out of them.

S and I pretended to be ladies from the Gilded Age and talked about how we would spend our days, having tea parties and riding our ponies about the grounds. It was fun. We got home very exhausted.

Homeschool Success by Susan Higgins

Our first year of homeschooling met with success for both my husband and I as parents and for our little pupil. She learned to read, which is always amazing to me; seeing that light turn on as they finally "get it." She learned how to add and subtract 2-digit numerals which I don't think I did until the end of second grade. And she's learning how to be curious and find out what excites her, which is the real goal, I think. As Yeats said, "Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire."

We get a lot of questions on homeschooling whenever we see our non-homeschooling friends and family. As much as I hate being the poster-family for homeschooling, I try and remember that their curiosity comes from a good place and be patient with them. Most people want to know what "curriculum" we use. I put it in quotes because a lot of people seem to think that we are required to follow a specific curriculum. In NJ you do not. NJ requires that all children between 6 and 16 receive a public education or its equivalent. That's it. If the school system feels that you are not providing that to your children, they can bring you to court. Once you show what you are providing your child, in terms of education, the onus is on the school system to prove it's not equivalent. This has not been done very often, but it’s enough of a concern that I keep a record of what we’ve covered in a teacher’s planning calendar.  

We are primarily following a classical education format called a Trivium. It's based on a solid foundation of grammer, logic and rhetoric. At age 7, this means a good foundation in reading skills, with the idea that it will open up doors for her to learn about, well about anything she wants. We also have a strong focus on math and include several hours a week for history, art, music and sports. Another popular homeschooling style is called "unschooling," meaning that there is no set instruction. Children learn as they go about the course of the day or as things interest them. Writing thank you notes is a lesson in writing, grammar, penmanship and manners. A trip to the farmer's market can be a math lesson, etc. Another popular type is called unit-based learning. The child and parents find something of interest: Egyptian pyramids, the solar system, the rain forest and use that subject as a spring board for learning math, reading, writing, etc as they learn about it.

There are many different schools of thought on homeschooling and from parents I've talked to in-person and online, no one style is perfect for everyone. Some parents even tailor the style to how the child learns best, not something they're likely to learn in a public school, with its one-size-fits-all curriculum. Montessori and Waldorf adherents both have homeschool versions. There are Christian and other faith-based homeschool philosophies. Also, for parents who want to, there are distance learning and correspondence curriculum for purchase. I know one family who uses an online school. The kids “meet” with their teachers online every day.

Lucky for us, there is an abundance of information on homeschooling out there.  Not the case for anyone who was teaching at home twenty or even ten years ago. And the internet has made sharing this information easy and much of it free. Some resources that we’ve used:

Homeschool Your Child for Free, LauraMaery Gold and Joan M. Zielinski, a comprehensive resource guide for finding free information on the internet, from curriculum planning to organization help.

www.bbc.co.uk/schools has the entire British schools curriculum online and I find it much more entertaining and user-friendly than many American sites. We’re using it this year for Ancient Greek history. It has games and interactive lessons for kids.

www.homeschooldiner.com a fun blog with a lot of information about the various types of homeschoolers.

Saturday Morning

I love Saturday mornings. Especially Saturday mornings that are right in the middle of an eight-day vacation. Otherwise, I'm generally too tired to enjoy them.

This morning almost turned out that that anyway. I was awakened at barely 5am by the Little One who woke up for no good reason:
"Is it morning yet?"
"No, go back to bed."
"I can't, I'm thinking of scary things."
"Well, think about nice things. Like your birthday party. And go back to sleep."

Finally, after much tossing and turning and whispering, "Is it morning now?" she goes back to sleep.

Then the dog starts scratching to go out. It's 5:30am. Then Little One has to pee. She gets up and goes to the bathroom, comes back, "Can we get up now?"

"GO BACK TO SLEEP."

FINALLY, after everyone has had their pee and gone back to sleep, dog wrapped around my feet and small child with various appendages draped over my body, until it must look like some skirmish just mysteriously decided to fall asleep on top of me. Despite the big pile on top of me, I fall back asleep.

7:30 am comes and the dog wakes me up again. Apparently the quick 5am pee was not enough to hold him over any longer. The upside to all this is that after a groggy but proper walk, I am awake alone in the house. Alone to enjoy my tea, toast with soy spread and Inside Washington without familial interruption. Also, I get to work a little bit on the umbilical cord I'm making for a certain new baby.

The family must wake up eventually. Here is our fabulous Saturday wake-up smoothie:

Almond Banana Smoothie (disclaimer: this is not quite as thick as a smoothie, but still very yummy).

• 1 cup ice
• 1 cup almond milk
• 1 banana
• little bit of vanilla extract. I use half a cap-full, but for detail's sake we'll say 1/2 teaspoon

put the above into a blender and blend until there's not great big ice chunks in it and it's frothy. The small child loves it. It's gluten- and dairy- but not taste-free. 

Too Big to Fail

“If you’re too big to fail, you’re too big.”-Richard Fisher, President, Dallas Federal Reserve

When Richard Fisher spoke those words, he was talking about the nation’s bailout of Wall Street and the nation’s largest banks following the crash of 2008. Those words, however, came to me when reading about two child abuse scandals that were in the news this summer: the Sandusky trial and the Philadelphia trial of a Catholic Priest who was convicted of child endangerment. Monsignor William Lynn was not charged with child abuse. Rather, he was convicted of reassigning pedophile priests while saying they were excused for health reasons. Lynn kept a list of 35 suspected pedophile priests that was testimony in the case. He said he kept the list in hopes that the burgeoning problem would be addressed by his superiors. He also admits under testimony that at no time did he go to the authorities with his information. Part of the trial focused on Father Edward Avery, who was accused of molesting a boy in the 1970’s and sent to an archdiocese hospital for priests with sexual and substance abuse problems. When he came off his disability leave, he was placed into a community parish, despite recommendations that he not be around children. Avery later pled guilty to sodomizing a 10 year old boy there.

The Jerry Sandusky trial, for those who spent the summer in Antarctica, reads like a primer on how to molest kids. Sandusky, assistant coach for Penn State, an NCAA football powerhouse, used his position as the founder of non-profit charity to sexually abuse young, at-risk, disadvantaged boys over a 15 year period. Sandusky was convicted on the testimony of 8 brave men who said that Sandusky forced them to have sex in exchange for money and favors. To me, the most alarming testimony of the entire case was when Mike McQuery, then a Penn State graduate assistant, found Sandusky raping a 10 year old boy in the shower. He said at trial that he couldn’t be sure of what he was seeing. Instead of going to the police, he informed his supervisor. An FBI report released this month came to the conclusion that Penn State knowingly allowed this behavior to continue unabated for at least 10 years. The Penn State Administrative Director and its Senior Financial Officer were subsequently charged with failure to report child abuse. Experts say that if Joe Paterno had not died this past winter, he too would be facing charges.

Amazingly to me, now that Penn State’s football program is in danger, people are complaining that it’s unfair that the program is in jeopardy. Let’s be clear folks: if the football program receives a penalty, the fault lies with Sandusky and those who protected him. I love Rutgers football, but I would rather see the stadium razed to the ground then have one 10 year old raped in its showers.

Take away this one thing: in the Catholic sex abuse scandal, in the Sandusky case, NOT ONE PERSON CALLED THE COPS. In large part because the institutions ‘reputations were seen as more important than the need to protect children. They didn’t want a scandal to dirty the name of their religious institution or their favorite sports team. And this is dangerous.   When one person rapes a child, they have damaged a vital portion of that child forever and it is a tragedy. When an institution is complicit in the cover-up and continuation of child abuse, it is a horror beyond imagining. If an institution, a religion, a university, whatever, is too big to abide by the laws of our country, not to mention common decency, then it is too big to exist here.